Limericks

We had lots of enthusiasm for the request for limericks - obviously people have more time than ever to write them! Here's what we got.

from John Weaver:

A pair named Bonnie and Dix
Had a pandemic to fix
They said keep apart
And have a kind heart
But try not to socially mix

A germ called covid nineteen
Spoilt our weekly routine
Group walks not allowed
Because in a crowd
We can’t keep six feet in between

Our friend with name Malcolm Read
Arranged walks that he’d usually lead
All that’s in the past
How long will it last
‘Til Malcolm once more can proceed?

From Alastair Glegg
We have a new Mother Confessor
Preaching kindness and calmness, God bless her!
She has her sidekicks
Such as Adrian Dix,
But she’s a much snappier dresser.

From Eric and Wendy Dryden:
Our Hero in BC is Bonnie,
Her smile and her manner so sunny;
While battling the virus from hell,
She ensures that we are all well;
And her voice is as smooth as honey.

From Isabel Hansen:
Six feet apart is just too much to ask,
A handshake is now an impossible task,
Some cookies there are,
Too many by far,
So we cover our guilt with a mask.

From Gordon Hansen:
There once was on old boy called, “Joe”
He asked how far he could go
It was not here or there
But stay where you are
And when you move, go oh so slow

Oh please won’t you thus be so kind
As to walk where I really don’t mind
Do not go in the gutter
To pass as you mutter
Just make sure you walk way behind

To listen to Bonnie is jolly
Or get into trouble by golly
And not move too fast
Or else we won’t last
And then it for sure would be folly

Our dear, “Christ Church” we oh so do miss
To attend there is really quite bliss
For now we must stay
So far, far away
And continue a long distance kiss.

From Susan Benzon
In central Victoria small birds sing
And people ask, “why don’t church bells ring?”
Well don’t blame bellringers — we aren’t feckless sinners;
We’ve gone home, for some quiet social distancing.

A Cathedral parishioner, from downtown,
Admits he’s Dr. Bonnie’s greatest fan.
So he’s prayerfully trying to be safe, calm and caring,
Even when he sneaks through the Tweed Curtain.

CHRIST-DEMICALY SPEAKING
by Drelene Gibb

Our complacency has become so endemic
That God sent us the Covid Pandemic
So we are all forced to become monks
With time to clear The Way from all the junk
That keeps us from living Christ-centric

From David Oliver

Writin’ a Lim’rick or two
Is somethin’ you’ve asked us to do
With COVID nineteen
Improved hygiene
Is better for me and for you

Getting together is nice
But that’s what we must sacrifice
Please persist in
Social distancin’
That’s Doctor Henry’s advice

From Moira Nasim
May 22nd Survey

To ‘open or not’, tis the question
For which we may offer reflection:
‘Pros and the cons’ we should state
In a survey first rate
To aid the church hone its future intention.